Flamingo Jail Break

November 19, 2008. Des Moines, Iowa.

Flamingo busts out of the Blank Park Zoo. Fortunately, it was quickly recaptured.

Kamikaze Deer

November 29, 2008. Markle, Indiana.

Five deer jumped off an overpass onto I-69, "one of them crashing through a tractor-trailer's windshield." Holy cow.

Siberian Chipmunk Hordes Besiege Paris

October 20, 2008. Paris, France

"tens of thousands" ... "ticks" ... "Lyme disease" ...

We've been focusing too much on squirrels lately. Can't forget to give chipmunks their due.

Three Hurt In School Squirreling

May 10, 2007. San Jose, California

"A child and two adults were hurt when a squirrel went nuts and attacked them after wandering into a San Jose elementary school classroom."

'Went nuts' -- get it? Ha ha ha, that's really funny ... NOT. I'll tell you what's funny: they tried to use humane traps to catch the little varmint. Mofo draws blood, and they're worried about hurting it?

Catfight Causes Rollover

October 14, 2008. DeBeque, Colorado

No, not that kind of a catfight. Two cats riding in a woman's lap started fighting, causing her to roll her SUV. Ominously, "The cats have not been seen since the crash." Expect a sequel.